OUTDATED SCOPES! THEY DON TIRE WE GIRLS!

Back in the days when I was a child, my big aunts would gist about guys asking them out. Most times, the conversations flowed thus:

Anty Funsho: Udeme, gist dey?

Anty Udeme: Bobo dey the gist?

Anty Funsho: (laughs) as I was returning from d saloon o! A guy called me and said “u look familiar” I stopped and tried to see if I knew him but soon it was obvious I did. As I made to go, he said “anybody ever told you that you are beautiful?” I laughed as I began to understand his scopes, then he went on “oh that smile on your face!” I didn’t know what to do so I laughed some more. By now he had already gotten my name, so he asked “how can we see? I would like to see u again, do you have a handset?” I said “no I don’t, and if you don’t mind am in a hurry to go home” “please just wait a little” he said and grabbed my hand. I became furious, wriggled free and walked away” as I did, I heard him call after me “see you around pretty!”

Anty udeme: hahahahahaha; they don dey commot new scopes, you no go even sabi sey them wan chaike u!

Now almost 15 years after I heard this conversation, and almost 7 years of my being of chaikable age, I still hear the same things, the same old scopes. To prove my point, I will allow you eaves drop on this conversation between my friends; Dara and Chisom

Chisom: these guys them dey craze o!

Dara: wetin happen?

Chisom: I was just taking a stroll this evening, I heard a guy calling after me ‘Glory, Glory’, I didn’t respond. He kept shouting ‘Glory!’ And I was d only girl around there so I turned and said “sorry am not Glory” then he said “oh, you look familiar, so what’s d pretty name?”

Dara:     which kind olden days scopes b that one? (Frowns)

Chisom: don’t mind the outdated human: I asked him “why do you want to know?” then he said “ah baby why r u being so harsh I just want to know your name as someone that looks like my friend.” Then I relaxed and decided to give him a chance to try newer scopes, just for the fun of it. “my named is Joyce”

(Dara laughs)

Chisom: oh Joyce, the name suits your pretty face. I come dey laugh, him follow de laugh too, him no sabi sey na him I dey laugh. Next thing “so can I get your phone number so I can give u a beep?” my phone is switched off but I ll give u my number” then I called my number for him, said goodnight and walked away.

Dara; haba! You gave him your real number?

Chisom:  offcourse! Abeg update o! the new style be say, if him ask you for number, give am. 10 out of 9 times he will not call because he was expecting you to be more challenging. But if he calls and you pic and don’t like what you are hearing, press the red button simple! We girls don update, make them dey there de use scopes wey my papa use chaike my mama!

Dara: Abeg chisom stop, laugh wan kill me die!

They both burst out laughing.

Hello guys! What more can I say? Update! We are tired of old scopes! Lol!

Guys if you think I have presented the situation unfairly, or have any comments, you can leave your comments on this blog.

by Perfecta Bassey