*WARNING: Article contains satire, may contain truth*

"Omo, how far? Wetin Adiaba give you?"
"Bros, na E oo. I still dey thank God"
"Nna, you too much. Oya chop knucke!"

I must have heard the following conversation over a hundred times this year. Put together, it translates to one truth: Last semester's MEE 22X examination results are out. The pundits are also out in full force, comparing, dissecting and analyzing the results. The Food folks are said to be in possession of the worst set of results - none of their 200 Level students is said to have passed the course.

Personally, I have extended my condolences to those who have been asked to re-learn the basics of Fluid Machines and I shall attempt, in this article to highlight some of the weird, funny and strange stories that I have come across with respect to Adiaba, MEE 21X and MEE 22X. Ideally, these  stories should be true and I claim to be idealist (at least on paper :-)).

On record, Adiaba the phenomenom originates from the cold wintery city of Bucharest, former USSR. It reportedly was the best in its class either due to the dumbness of the others or its sheer individual brilliance which it currently displays from the Department of Suffering and Metals, Tuskers' Republic. From its department, Adiaba wrecks havoc on students' CGPA in the name of Fluid Machines and Material Technology. Authorities in Tuskers' Republic have continued to insist that all 200 Level Engineered Tuskites must undergo and understudy the Adiabatic Factor at least once in their academic lives as the lessons usually learnt are priceless.

Adiaba is regarded as being GEJish - dull, quiet but possessing ability to cause extensive damage to academic subsidies.

Student T has an interesting story. He claims to have actually attended ALL the classes, bought a statute of a certain Indian called Rajput and yet, he could only obtain a paltry "E" grade. When student T's rant was put through to Adiaba, Adiaba simply smiled and asked if student T had not realized that the Adiabatic lectures were "crap". We have started praying for student T, who went into academic shock after hearing Adiaba's response.

Student R passed MEE 21X and MEE 22X without any "direct involvement". Truth is, student R makes up for his chronic lack of textbooks and non - attendance of classes by possessing an amazing ability to "copy - dubb" from more intelligent / studious colleagues during tests and examinations. Adiaba was understandably unimpressed by student R's latest stunt; a party he threw to celebrate his "C" in MEE 22X.

Student A is a funny breed, he loves doing things at the eleventh hour. After wasting his previous semesters ministering to the few sisters in CONCES, he finally realized that he required a 5.00 GPA in 500 level, second semester to be able to graduate with a Second Class (Upper) in Mechanical Engineering. His ambition incensed Adiaba, who roared; "why on earth should you project GPA without leaving room for Adiabatic Errors?". After receiving Adiabatic blessings of a D and a C, student A's 2-1 dreams are over, despite the straight As he acquired in the other courses.

"S" is for stupid and student S demonstrated this clearly by using Googled and Wikipediaed web pages to answer MEE 21X examination questions. Alhaji Adiaba - the custodian of tradition simply told him; "if you must cheat, cheat with Rajput!"

Uncle H is old enough to be my father, but he is not my father, rather he is my lecturer. Lecturer H is bitter, bitter because despite the well-known fact that he is a lecturer in the Department of Suffering and Metals, the Adiabatic system blessed him with an "F" grade during his Postgraduate Programme. Adiaba, however, has defended itself vigorously by asking, "if someone scores 35/100 when the pass mark is 50/100, what do you do for him?". Personally, I like lecturer H, he subscribes to the ideology that ANYBODY who has 3000 Naira should not fail his course. What I do not understand though is why he chose to do his PG programme in Tuskers' Republic.

Student D's frequent bouts of Night Classes do not impress me. Adiaba too was unimpressed- student D will have to do his Night Classes again, for MEE 21X.


The Adiabatic heart is a large one. That explains why student Q, who did not write any sensible sense in his answer sheet because of typhoid fever, is being given the opportunity to sensibly re-write the course this semester. Student Q remains ungrateful for this opportunity.

There has always been love in sharing. Student Z shared his answer sheet with three others. They passed, he failed. This is hoping he will make proper use of the "sharing" opportunity he will get this semester.

Speaking of sharing, students A1 to K39, final year students of Suffering and Metals, shared the microchips with each other during the examinations. All of them passed. Good luck to them in their Engineering endeavours.


I could go on and on, but I have got an assignment to dubb and some books which I have to pretend to read. I celebrate with all '09 carryover students of MEE 21X. The time to pass the course is now! May the Whyte man be good to you!

Later ;-)!

by Gypsy Israel