Any Plans For Valentine Yet?

The madness season is here again, folks are planning all sorts of crazy stunts to prove their undying, superficial, simulated or veracious love, as the case may be to their heartthrobs and sweet hearts this season. Folks are setting Ps, long lost phone numbers are discovered and fresh fire set to relationships. It’s the VALENTINE season and love is in the air.

For those of you in the dull city of Uyo (and other dull cities), there’s still hope on how to spark up your valentine. Please note that this is strictly for heterosexuals, gay couples can find their valentine tips on google.

Firstly inspired by Bruno Mars, you could take a grenade for your love, “the greater display of love is laying down your life for a friend”. So be encouraged to catch a grenade for your love. The only challenge might be finding a grenade especially in the city of Uyo. Got a simple idea for you, the ADUMA khaki boys carry it on them. So all you need to do is create a distraction, catch the grenade off them, smile at your love who would be watching from a safe distance.

Before you pronounce that I have gone mad, consider my other thoughts.

Inspired by  P-Square’s “chop my money”, I suggest you give your love the opportunity to “Chop you money”, give him/her some money credit that you have not given before, after all there is love in sharing.

You could go swimming, there is the Atlantic ocean which could easily be accessed via Ibeno beach, but if you are so cowardly to swim in the pool of men, you can visit the pools around town, Monty, Eemjm, De Castle and if you can bear it, Ultrafit pools. Take your bath before you go though, the pool has always been for swimming not bathing.

For those with a chronic case of hydrophobia, (that’s not to say you don’t take your bath though), you can go sightseeing with a ride (better car o), keke or rent two bicycle. Go around Uyo and take a good look at some uncommon transformation. Yes, with two bicycle and an adventurous heart, you could get so much fun, cycling or driving through Uyo and the suburbs. I have always fancied a journey without destination. So you could cycle from Uyo to Le Meridien, walk around and watch or play golf and come back and take popcorn.

Silverbird Uyo is still running on its subsidy scheme and you would do well to take advantage of it with the condition that unnecessary snapping of pictures that will later appear as DPs and get the like of me and @nsisongeffiong: pissed off. The cinema will be showing movies at the rate of N100, just make sure you behave well; I have not forgiven the last dude who felt after paying such a high amount of N100 for a movie, he had the right to embarrass himself answering a call during the movie. For God’s sake N100 is not a license to be shouting instructions in Ibibio over the phone for someone to “check under the bed”. That said, am sure a nice romantic movie will be showing on the 14th.

For those of us who are traditionalist and who thinks a date in a pub is romantic can always pay a visit to the various bars and gardens around town. I am particularly impressed by Amazon Resort ordainment to the AKITA. Nice sit outs and bar, just make sure you don’t get involved in those “who-can-drink-more” competitions, things we do as drunk haunts us when we become sober. So if the mention of booze give you a hard-on, then Amazon Resort, 2nd Baze and many more awaits you.

Yeah, before I forget, 14 is not a bad day for the lost souls in the house to find Jesus. All manner of churches will be organizing love summits and relationship conferences. What better plare place is there aside church to find love companionship and Jesus. You can even get lucky, Jesus is never far away.

Lastly for all my single colleagues, I invite you to join in my decision to house watch. It is simple, buy fuel, buy popcorn, get a drink and join me in front of a screen as I watch some rated 18 stuffs. Wish you luck and see you later on the 16th. Don’t forget there is life after valentine.

by Gypsy (@Gypsy_C9)